i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize