Where is the hickey?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize