I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
