The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
