Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
