just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
