3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
