I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
