I look better un-naked...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
