just come out here and I will go home with you...
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
There are leaves in my underwear?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize