Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
