so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I want to fling myself into the sun
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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