You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
