Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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