brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
