bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
