It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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