I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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