in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
