Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
