Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize