ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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