He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
