I bet he comes in French.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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