If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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