your thong is hanging out like whoa
i would punch a child for taco bell
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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