do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Rumble strips road head = magical
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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