and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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