You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize