Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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