they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
