Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
