Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
