I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
