I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
