My hand turned me down
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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