God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
