guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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