Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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