apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
