so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You need Xanax blowdarts
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
