Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
