the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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