"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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