Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize