At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize