Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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