what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
