Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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