bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
