I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
