Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Found the puke drawer
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
