Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
