But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
