i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
