I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize