pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize